How many times as a step-parent are you referencing your stepchild as “your kid” to your spouse or significant other? This came up today for me because I started to say to my husband “your kid is...”, but stopped myself because she is not just his kid, she is our kid and I am a part of this.
I can’t say that I’ve always caught myself, especially in the heat of a moment, when you’re frustrated (”your kid did this” or “your kid did that”).
I’ve overheard friends do this as well “your kid is being a pain in the ass” “go take care of your kid” “your kid just punched another kid”, and the list goes on and on. I’m not a psychologist but would probably say this isn’t a good thing for your relationship and especially not for the child to hear you claim that they aren’t your child, ultimately hindering your relationship with both your spouse and your child.
So, next time you are tempted to say “your kid", stop, and consciously use their name and rephrase in a more constructive way.
Hopefully this will help your relationship with your spouse and child by being an accountable parent. As a step-parent your actions are also reflected in the child so the biological parent isn’t always to blame for the “bad behavior”.
Comments