When I married Jason, I promised to him and myself that I would be all in, and I have been when it comes to Makaela. That all-in includes school, medical, friends, after school activities, etc.
I have had access to Makaela’s school portal for the last 5 years and have played a very active role in helping her manage her deadlines, missing assignments, grades, etc.
This year is a little different as the school is telling us that because I’m not the biological mom I do not get access to her school portal to assist her in her daily monitoring of assignments, etc. Nor do I have the ability to excuse an absence, yet Makaela lives with us during the week. So, I cannot excuse her for upcoming trips, medical appointments, etc. With the amount of divorce and mixed families I find this all very shocking. If you have a parental figure that WANTS to be a part of their life and their grades, attendance, etc. why is it such a big deal. I understand having guidelines but this seems a little extreme to me.
I continue to receive school and district emails and noticed an invite to help hand out badges on the first day of high school. I was available so offered to assist so that I could be a part of her big day, to be at the school, to feel the environment, and see the students and start to form connections not only with the school but also with the other parents that volunteered. While introducing myself to another parent she commented that I looked young to have a freshman in high school so I let her know that I was her step mom (although her biological mother is the same age as I am). She mentioned that she didn’t think she had ever met another step parent volunteering before and applauded me for being there.
But the thing is, I didn’t see the big deal, why aren’t more step parents volunteering? Is it a territorial thing with the biological parents? Are the schools preventing this involvement? I understand that there is a lot more to this and that I cannot provide a solution at this very moment but this whole experience has left me feeling that something is wrong, not only with the school system but also with parents and step parents. Aren’t we all here for the benefit of the child? If someone wants to take an interest in the child (biological parent or step parent) – why wouldn’t it be okay?
Comments