Who knew my first sex conversation with Makaela would be at the age of 9 on a chair lift? It was my first Christmas with Jason's family. We were in Tahoe and there was little snow so the women decided to take the kids skiing while the guys went and had a beer. While in line I was taking photos, like I normally do, and made a comment to Jason's mom about her "sexy" face. Little did I know little ears were listening. So, on the ski lift up the mountain, next to a 60+ year old Asian man, Makaela comments on how she noticed I used the "s" word.
It took me awhile but I slowly figured it out that she was referring to my earlier comment using the word "sexy". I responded with an apology saying that I shouldn't have used that term. She replied with "that's okay" and then said that when she and her friends talked about "it" (sex) at recess they used their own little sign language so that teachers wouldn't know what they were talking about. So, she imitated their sign language and quite frankly it looked like a little cheer, moving her arms with each letter S. E. X. So, I asked what they talked about when they talked about sex and she said that her friend Sara (obviously not using her friend's real name) would pair up girls and boys in the playground and describe them in different sexual positions.
Okay, hold the front door, WHAT!?! She is 9! At 9 I couldn't even fathom a boy sticking his tongue in my mouth, let alone anything else. So, I continue...can you give me an example of what Sara would say? She shrugged her shoulders and said that she couldn't think of anything specific at that moment. So, I followed up with, "Do you have any questions about what Sara was describing at recess, are there any questions I can answer for you?". She responded with "Jessica, how much do you really know about sex?" Okay, so how to respond, be honest. I respond with "A little". And then she responds "That's what I thought."
Okay, whatever that means, I wasn't about to be offended by a 9 year old that has a friend that is obviously getting her naughty details from somewhere. Anyway, I continued on just saying that if she ever has any questions about what's discussed at recess that she can come home and talk to her dad and I and we will be happy to answer any questions she has.
And, just like that the conversation has ended and the wind has been knocked out of me, holy hell, did we just have that conversation? And, that poor man that was on the chair lift with us. I know he heard the whole conversation. He sat ram rod straight looking forward, probably hoping and praying that we would stop talking about such a sensitive subject so he could enjoy the beautiful Tahoe day, with the view of the lake in front of us. But, I know neither he or I were thinking of the view at that precise moment.
We finished the run and maybe a few more, met up with Jason and the rest of the family, had a beer and tried to digest how the conversation was handled, as I'm sure a lot of steppy's do, when conversations like this happen. Did I say the right things, did I say anything that Jason would not be happy with as her dad?
Ultimately, Jason supported my responses and was glad that Makaela had someone to open up to about the topic. I think deep down I knew he would support me and that I handled the topic the best I could.
The attached picture is a picture taken on that day, of my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, before the chair lift ride and discussion.
Comments